Jewelry Cleaner Mishaps
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I can still remember sitting in a chemistry class, so bored that I was supporting my increasingly heavy head on the heel of my left hand, when I got a whiff of the most disgusting odour. I looked at the classmate to my left, from where the smell seemed to be emanating. He was an immaculately turned out pupil who smelled more of soap than, well, soap did. The culprit lay closer to home. I gazed down at my wrist. A quick sniff of my watch strap, and I nearly gagged. A few weeks of washing-up at home without bothering to take my watch off had taken its toll. My watch-strap, and particularly the thin rungs that connected the strap to the watch, reeked of rotting detergent and semi-dissolved food particles. It was as though the dog had thown up on my wrist. I was in need of a strong chemical to neutralize the smell. I was in need of a jewelry cleaner.
Professionals can clean any item of jewelry. It can be a tricky task to find the right cleaning tool/chemical combo to get the job done, but an indepth knowledge of gems, metals and stones enables the professional to come up with the right solution every time. However, for a gangly, acne-ridden 15-year-old school boy, taking a minging watch to the jewelers would have been a devastating experience. I might as well have donned a sack-cloth and walked around ringing a bell and intoning 'Unclean!' to warn my classmates away. I had no choice. I had to do it at home.
You might well come across articles that warn of the 'risks' associated with certain types of jewelry cleaner. By 'risks,' such articles probably mean the risk to the jewelry. Nobody seems to be worried about the risks to the person whose wrist its wrapped around. In fact, the dangers I was about to face were manifold.
The Search for the Perfect Polish
At lunchtime, I gathered together the change to be used in the school canteen for lunch along with a little more I'd saved up from my dinner money that term and hurried into town. Rather than go to the jewelry store in the centre of town where I'd risk drawing attention to myself and my school uniform - wandering around town at lunchtime was strictly forbidden - I went into the hardware store on the outskirts. There, after a quick search amongst the dusty shelves, I found what I was looking for - an industrial strength metal polish. I made it back to school just before the start of the next class. I'd missed lunch, but I didn't care. I had my jewelry cleaner safely ensconced in the depths of my pealing addidas bag.
After school, I went straight out into the garden shed holding my gleaming tin of polish in one hand and my watch at arms length in the other. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness, then I unscrewed the lid. Immediately I was engulfed by a invisible cloud of pungent fumes. This stuff was powerful! I poured a small measure onto a rag and began dabbing at my watch.
Unbeknown to me, my kid brother had followed me to the shed. He had some kind of sixth sense for sniffing out my clandestine operations. Rather than open the door and say, 'Hey, whatya doin'?' he burst in and jumped on my back. In the ensuing struggle I managed to tip the entire contents of the metal polish over our school uniforms. We stopped struggling and looked at each other.
'What is this stuff?' he asked.
'Nothing,' I answered.
So he sucked at a large dollop of polish that had landed on his sleeve. I'm not sure whether he started coughing or throwing up first.
To cut a long story short, we spent an unpleasant evening at the hospital where we had to sit through lectures from every adult who heard our story. My brother was administered with water and a stern warning, while I was largely frozen out. The next day he was fine, but I felt hot and itchy. When I crawled out of bed and looked in the shaving mirror I saw the elephant man staring back at me. Later on, the doctor told me and my frantic mother that I was suffering from nettle rash brought on by an allergic reaction to some toxic substance or other. I was promptly smeared in calamine lotion and confined to bed for three itchy days.
And my watch? Well, it went the way of the empty tin of polish. I imagine it was much cleaner though.
A Safer Approach to Jewelry Cleaning
The most common item of jewelry that most people take in for cleaning is their wedding ring, particularly one with diamonds. A wedding ring suffers the same exposure to the everyday onslaught of food and washing up that my watch had, not to mention the dirt and grease that can accumulate under and around the band itself. Routine cleaning can be carried out with a toothbrush - as long as you don't use it on your teeth afterwards. However, to rid your wedding ring of the long-term build up of tarnish and grease, you need to clean it thoroughly with a jewelry cleaner.
There are several options open to you if you want to clean your jewelry at home:
1. ultrasonic jewelry cleaners
2. ammonia-based scrubs
3. total immersion in a chemical jewelry cleaner.
Of course, it is essential that you choose the jewelry cleaner appropriate to your item of jewelry. If you use ultrasonic cleaners on opals, tanzanite, amber or any other gemstone you risk opening up tiny hairline cracks in the structure of the stones. Another example would be class rings which are often coated with a film to diminish their lustre. The wrong type of jewelry cleaner will strip this coating with ease. You also have to take care with emeralds and pearls. They are soft and permeable and will absorb cleaning fluids which may erode and discolour their surfaces.
I know that after recounting my story, I can't really get away with advising you to use common sense when choosing a jewelry cleaner. However, I learnt my lesson the hard way. It's actually much easier to ask for professional advice before you buy a jewelry cleaner, read the instructions on the tin, or, if it is a particularly valuable piece, hand it over to a professional who will clean your jewelry for you. Oh, and make sure, when you have your jewelry cleaner open and ready to use, that your kid brother is not lurking somewhere behind you.
